Come 10pm next Thursday, the polls will have closed, and there’ll be nothing more any of us can do to influence the outcome of the election. Which of course means it’s time to decamp to our nearest politically aware late-night bar, glue ourselves to the big screens, the swingometers, and the pundits, and watch the results roll in. Sing the Red Flag whenever Lab Hold flashes up, “dah dah dah” along to Land of Hope and Glory when there’s a Con Gain, and if you’re Nick Griffin, bark the Horst Wessel Lied as you lose in Barking and Dagenham. But, results night wouldn’t be as much fun without games! Below’s my suggested rules for:
The Election Night Bingo Drinking Game.
First off, create two Bingo sheets per participant – one with constituencies, and one with ‘results night phrases’ (“swing”, “key marginal”, “tories”, etc.). You can use this handy generator to do so. There’s a list of UK Parliamentary constituencies here. You can make your cards as large as you like, but I’d suggest 4×4 for constituencies, and 3×3 for phrases.
Now, explain the rules to your weary activist friends.
Constituency Card Rules
1. Every time one of your constituencies is mentioned, drink*.
2. When one of your constituencies is declared, do a shot, and mark your card.
2a. If it’s declared for your party, stand up, shout your party’s manifesto slogan, and do two shots.
3. If you get a line (across, diagional, etc.), shout your party leader’s name, and down your drink.
Special Rule: If one of your constituencies is declared and pushes your party into having an overall majority, all other players must buy you a drink. You must then drink these drinks and party into the next day, alternately revelling in victory and taunting your defeated opponents.
Phrase Card Rules
The phrase card rules are much simpler.
1. Every time one of your phrases is mentioned, drink, and mark your card.
2. If you get a line, down your drink.
1. Every time a Monster Raving Loony candidate shows up on the footage, everybody shouts “Wahey!” and drinks.
2. Every time a BNP Candidate is mentioned, everybody shouts “Booo!” and drinks.
*NB: drink, in this context, means a sip.